December 23, 2007

Dispatch from Utopia

drawer sitter.jpg
Completely unrelated photo so you don't have to suffer through yet another pictureless post from me

We went to a neighbor's solstice party last night. Most of our neighbors were there. It's that kind of neighborhood. I'm not sure how we lucked into landing in precisely the right place for us in the city. We knew we wanted this general area, but we somehow managed to stumble upon not only the right neighborhood, but even the right block. Last night I sat on my neighbor's couch, one of four women squeezed comfortably together, the neighbor's dogs circulating, and watched Thumper ramble around happily from one friendly face to another, making the rounds under Billy's supervision. Petting the dogs, flirting with the women, tolerating the enthusiastic play of the bigger kids. The older kids and teenagers seemed happy to be there too, rather than sitting around and rolling their eyes and waiting to be released from adult company.

We made lists on red paper of the things we want to leave behind with the old year, and those lists were burned in the fire. We made shapes out of clay to symbolize what we want to draw to us in the new year. It was real clay, not plasticy toxic crap. Just dirt. Just good red clay dirt. Everyone stood around, kneading their clay, shaping it...and no hint of self-consciousness. No one seeming to worry about being too earnest, or too revealing, or making the "right" shape, etc. It was just...comfortable. Familiar. And we've only been here for three months. This far from our own families, it's important...necessary...that we find other forms of family out here. We found a bit of it last night. Even if Thumper did try to eat the clay.

So there's one more thing in Utopia's favor. We had some great neighbors in Brooklyn (especially you, Celine), but I can't imagine last night's party happening there. There's an openness, a down-to-earthness, here, that I've never found in New York. Maybe because we have to spend so much time in New York protecting our necks, our soft underbellies. I'm tired of protecting my soft underbelly. I'm tired of always looking over my shoulder. I'm still on the listserv for our old neighborhood in Brooklyn, and the news is always the same. Another mugging, someone else followed home from the train at night, everyone's holiday wreaths are being stolen... I don't miss it. I don't miss that layer of stress and fear always just beneath the surface.

(Now that we don't live there, I'll tell you that we lived in Lefferts Manor. It's a great neighborhood in many ways, but it's not nearly as safe as I would have told you it was back when we still lived there. We heard gunshots nearly every night. I don't miss that either.)

So here's to a new year in Utopia. And to the return of the light.

Posted by cari at December 23, 2007 03:31 PM
Comments

Wow! i'm the first. anyway, I totally understand what you're talking about. i left my home in northern california to come to the east coast because there were more opportunities for me and it was a much better place to raise a child. where i lived, there was nothing for kids to do except drugs and sex, and you can just imagine where all that lead to. it was a tough first couple years for me but i don't regret it. i'm glad that your settling in process is going so smoothly!

Posted by: Cambria

I'm so glad you found such a great fit. Finding "home" is such a serendipitous thing. You and your family will have many years of life and love in a place like that. Hurray for you.

Posted by: Mary in Gainesville, FL

Happy Relaxed New Life, Cari. Removing stress can add years to your life, I believe. Mwah!

Posted by: Norma

May your Utopia only become more Utopian in the new year.

Posted by: claudia

I love the red paper burning and red clay molding. Here's to the return of the light, indeed.

Posted by: Lizbon

We went to a neighbourhood party as well last night, we also got lucky. The dinner was split between three homes and it will alternate next year. They even had a contingency plan in case I couldn't make it, they were going to bring food to me. We live in a big city so this kind of thing is wonderful. Merry Christmas to you and yours...ciao

Posted by: rositta

Season's Greetings !


Seems that you made the right move. I hope it continues to feel like Utopia.

Posted by: Emma

I am happy for you and your family. It sounds like you found the perfect place to settle in Utopia. That reminds me that I need to visit my friends in Portland again soon!

Posted by: knittripps

That sounds like a perfect evening. I love those brilliant moments in life when you can just BE.

Posted by: indigirl

oh what a lovely story! I hope I am lucky enough to meet neighbors who celebrate the solstice when I move to portland, too. so glad your new home has embraced you so warmly.

Posted by: gaile

Merry Christmas (and the holidays of your choice), Cari. That picture of Thumper is adorable. Give him an oatmeal box and a wooden spoon and he'd be all set!

Posted by: liz

sounds like a wonderful place to live and a wonderful group of people to be surrounded by. Have a magical 2008!

Posted by: Debbie

How wonderful for you to have found such a lovely and well-fitting neighborhood for you and your family.
BTW, your son just gets more and more gorgeous as the days go on!
Blessings!

Posted by: Christiane

the right place was there waiting for you. thankfully, the person you had looking for it, knew.

it's great to find a family where you move. it can be so scary thinking about it, before you actually make the trek. then, before you know it, wonderful people surround you. but you know why? because wonderful attracts wonderful.

welcome home.

Posted by: shannon in oregon

The very best to you and yours, Cari!

Posted by: margene

sounds like a wonderful community that you found here! i am a bit behind (as usual) and just read about aunt. i am very sorry for your loss, thank you for sharing with us. here is to a safe and happy new year!

Posted by: marti

Another one running behind here...Happy Solstice to all of you! Lovely you're in the right neighborhood, and how cool is it you're discovering more about that during this time of year? Peace and happiness to you, and more in the coming year. And knitting, of course. ;)

And I'm so sorry about your aunt. I hope your memories of her keep her near.

Posted by: MonicaPDX

Oh, the west coast is just so groovy. (I'm being serious. I miss those parts of it.) Merry Christmas, you three. xo

Posted by: alison

I love that he has his on drawer to play in! Willow has a drawer like that at Gma's house.

Posted by: Jo

Having grown up near Portland, your post really resonated. Every time I fly back home -- from points east -- the sight of mountains and tress hits me like a whoosh ... Everything is lighter. I'm so glad Utopia has proved Utopian.

Posted by: katie m.

I'm so happy that utopia is still full of amazing stories. Its so good to hear of places that have such a good vibe.

Love the photo, what is it about toddlers hopping into things!

Posted by: Sharon

Aw - Thumper is too cute. I love the Stealth Flour Caper photo, too.

Posted by: Jennifer