Dogs Steal Yarn

Shockingly well-rested

Okay...so we're only twelve days into this parenting adventure, but a few things are starting to click into place. I really get it now, that each family is different and it's all a matter of finding what works for you and your baby.

Thumper and I roomed in at the hospital without separation, because that was very important to me. Perhaps a bit rough because I was post-op (trying to figure out how to get him out of the isolette at night without popping my incision when my ankles were still tethered to the bed by compression cuffs was especially interesting), but it wasn't a negotiable point for me and I'm really glad I did it. From night one, he made it clear he'd much rather sleep all day and do nursing marathons at night, thankyouverymuch. As a result, I didn't really sleep much at all for the three nights we were there. Nor had I slept the four nights previous, thanks to the Contraction-a-Thon that had been labor. Normal newborn stuff, this not sleeping at night. Waking up at night and sleeping during the day was the in-utero norm, and I didn't expect him to change right away to suit my preference for sleeping at night. Though I hoped.

We got home, and now Billy was in on the no-sleeping thing. We did that until Friday night, and then we tried something new. Thumper had been (not) sleeping in a co-sleeper attached to my side of the bed. Attachment parenting makes so much sense to us, and that's pretty much what we're taking as our guidelines, but I was nervous about having him right in bed with us, in terms of safety. Well... Friday night, rather than propping myself up in bed with the Boppy to nurse him and then putting him in the co-sleeper after he fell asleep (at which point he'd invariably sleep for twenty minutes or so and then wake up wanting to nurse again--never a big nurse at those wakings, just a quick snack for comfort and then drifting off to sleep and occasional halfhearted little sucks), instead I nursed him lying down and let him drift off to sleep snuggled up against me, between me and Billy. We arranged the sheets so they wouldn't go above his waist, made sure there weren't pillows near him, and let him sleep there. I fell asleep, Billy fell asleep, and we stayed asleep for three hours, until Thumper started to wake and root around. A real-length hunger nursing still lying down at that point, and he went to sleep again. He woke up for another feeding three hours after that, and then since it was Saturday the whole family slept in another three hours. Everyone was happy and well-rested and it was quite cozy to have him in bed there with us.

Ditto for Saturday night. Ditto for last night. I hope I'm not jinxing myself and my sleep when I say that I think we've found what works for us, for now. It means the marathon nursing happens during the day now, but that's fine with me.

The labor was really rough, and I'm recovering from surgery etc, but at least I've got a champion breastfeeder here who's letting me get a decent amount of sleep. I'll take that trade-off. Breastfeeding and sleep last longer than labor and delivery, anyway.

PS: If you're thinking of leaving a comment warning against the "dangers" of co-sleeping, don't bother. Not interested in hearing it and the evidence is pretty strong against your point. Thanks.

A blanket for Thumper

Many many thanks to a group of especially wonderful friends/knitters who got together and made this beautiful blanket for our little guy:

Alison, Carolyn, Cassie, Claudia, Irene, Iris, Jackie, Jenn, Kate, Lala, Lee Ann, Michelle, Melissa, Norma, Rachael, Regina, Sarah, and Valentina

Thumper loves his sling

We've been taking walks each evening, once the heat breaks a bit. Somewhat slow, somewhat short walks, thanks to my incision. Yup. Incision. I've decided not to get into the whole birth story here on the blog--it's just not the place for it, at least not yet. The end result was a healthy baby, and that's all that matters, but it was a difficult birth.

The overview is that I set out to have a drug-free birth and did a lot of work toward that. What I got was four days of drug-free labor followed by six hours of pitocin and an epidural followed by a c-section due to various complications. As I said, we brought a very healthy baby home and that's what matters. And our doula was amazing. I credit her with getting me through such a long labor, and for comforting me when things went differently than we'd hoped. I was focused and managing the pain and feeling really positive, even after three nights of no sleep, until things took a turn that required interventions. I can't recommend doulas strongly enough.

So that's all I'm going to say about that. We hear a lot about the good, smooth birth stories. I just want to say that even when a birth ends up deviating radically from the birth plan, when you go in committed to a natural delivery without pain meds and leave the hospital having had major surgery, it's all okay once that healthy baby is in your arms.

Thumper received a beautiful gift from my knitting buddies, which will be photographed and posted very soon.

Thanks so very much to all of you for your good wishes and congratulations.

He's here!

And boy do I have a doozy of a birth story for you! But that's for another day. For today, just feast your eyes on the glory of Thumper, complete with pompadour:

"Thumper"
born June 14, 2006
8 lbs, 6 oz, 21 inches

Attention lovely, well-meaning people

The calls and emails checking to see if I've gone into labor yet are stressing me out. I know the inquiries are all coming from well meaning people who care...but they aren't helpful. The baby isn't due until the 17th, and most babies come later than the due date, so...

Please... Don't ask. No one wants this baby to arrive more than I do, but the constant checking in is making it really hard to take it as it comes.

If I don't post for a few days, that doesn't mean I'm in labor. I usually post every three to five days regardless of baby news.

So please wish us luck and check this space. I may go into labor in five minutes, or I may be here, still pregnant and posting about sock knitting, two weeks from now. I promise I'll tell you when Thumper arrives. Really.

Thanks,
pregnant and grumpy in Brooklyn

Pregnancy: Day 268

3 a.m. Wake up, have to pee. Shift from left side toward center, lifting belly with hands to avoid those shooting ligament pains, if possible. Reach your back. Wonder if those shooting pains are ligaments or muscle. Shift to right shoulder, easing belly down toward bed on right side. Push self up to sitting position, trying to keep grunting to a minimum, as it wakes the dogs. Once awake, dogs will want to go out in the yard. They're dreaming, as there's no way you're waddling down the stairs right now. Make sure feet are flat on floor. Lift enormous bulk of self off bed, tucking your tailbone so the weight of the belly doesn't send you sprawling forward. Make your way across the bedroom, down the hall, and into the bathroom. "Walking" after having been lying down for the past hour since last bathroom trip is best achieved by tipping your weight from side to side and shuffling your feet forward. You are aware that you look like a weeble wobble, but have long since stopped caring. Pee. Much less will come out than your bladder was claiming was present. Decide to hang out there a while, because you're bound to have to go again soon enough anyway. Consider leaving some knitting in the bathroom, because you've read through all the cartoons in the pile of New Yorkers already and you're in no shape to read the articles in the middle of the night.

3:23 a.m. Reverse above process to get previously mentioned enormous bulk of self back into bed. Push sleeping husband back to his own damn side of the bed. Try to figure out what he's saying in his sleep. If it's funny or embarrassing, write it down before trying to get back to sleep.

5:17 a.m. See 3 a.m.

6:22 a.m. See 5:17 a.m.

7:00 a.m. Husband's alarm goes off. He sleeps through it. Smack husband's shoulder until he wakes up and turns alarm off.

7:09 a.m. See 7 a.m.

7:18 a.m. Try to fall back to sleep as husband gets out of bed, wakes dogs, and makes far too much noise while he showily pees a mighty, effortless stream.

7:44 a.m. Remind self that you love your husband even though he is congenitally incapable of turning out the closet light after leaving the closet, and said light is now shining directly in your all-too-awake face. Roll over. Think about the fact that you no longer have to go to work. Try to forget that you no longer have to go to work because you have completely surrendered your body to the process of baby-making. Mutter something about "taking one for the team" as you finally drift off to sleep.

9:50 a.m. Repeat process from 3 a.m. Rather than return to bed, slowly make your way downstairs, pausing at the top step to be sure your hips are actually awake and willing to support your weight. Make tea and a bagel, turn on radio, sit down and wait for Brian Lehrer to start. Drink tea and wonder if you'll go into labor today. Try to remember what day of the week it is.

10:00 a.m. Check email while listening to Brian Lehrer. What's with all the damn spam lately? Nothing from your agent. Tell yourself she's stuck on the Q train and hasn't made it to the office yet.

10:13 a.m. Feel Thumper wriggle happily as the tea kicks in. Rub his little butt and feel for his sharp little heels and wonder if you'll go into labor today. Tell him how excited you are to meet him. Tell yourself to remember that after he's born and you wake up drenched in sweat and breast milk after 35 minutes of sleep.

12:00 p.m. Consider taking a shower. Sit very still and feel for signs of early labor. Feel none. Wonder if you'll go into labor today.

12:36 p.m. Lunch. Have soy turkey slices always been this tasty?

1:00 p.m. Showered, dressed in yoga pants and t-shirt. Wishing you still had some shirts that entirely covered the belly. Wishing even one pair of maternity jeans still fit. Walk dogs, waddling at a brisk pace in the hopes that maybe it will help you go into labor today. Six neighbors at six different points in your walk will each say, "Any day now, hunh?" Remember that they mean well and have no idea that they aren't the first person to say this to you today. Smile and say that you certainly hope so.

2:13 p.m. Remind yourself that just because your doctor estimated the baby's weight at 7.5 to 8 lbs at your appointment last week, that doesn't mean you'll be giving birth to a ten pound turkey come delivery day, even if the baby hangs around the full two weeks till due date, or longer. An estimate is an estimate is an estimate. Take inventory for possible signs of early labor. Sense nothing. Hope you'll go into labor today.

2:40 p.m. Have lunch again. Yep. Soy turkey slices really are tasty. So are olives. So is pickled okra. Mmmmm.

3:37 p.m. Check email. Wonder if the server is down at your agent's office. Remind yourself that she's only had your revisions since Saturday and that today is most likely Monday. Haul your substantial ass up and down the stairs a few times, hoping that you'll maybe go into labor today.

3:42 p.m. Sit on the damn birth ball and work two rows of the Kimono shawl.

3:58 p.m. Look longingly at couch.

3:59 p.m. Move to sit on couch. Lean back with feet up and promise to spend time later in the day on hands and knees to make up for it. Set lace-knitting aside and cast on for Placket-Neck Pullover for Thumper to wear this winter.

4:08 p.m. Snack. Mmmmm....yogurt with almond butter and a diced apple.

4:10 p.m. Wonder if you'll go into labor today

4:13 p.m. Work seed stitch hem on baby sweater. Wonder if you'll go into labor today.

4:45 p.m. Answer phone. Tell husband you aren't in labor yet.

4:53 p.m. Answer phone. Tell mother you aren't in labor yet.

5:12 p.m. Remind self that the baby isn't due for another 12 days, and could come later than that.

5:13 p.m. Wonder if you'll go into labor today.

5:15 p.m. Sit on birth ball. Wonder if you'll go into labor today.

6:29 p.m. No email from agent. What if you go into labor and then she emails and you don't get the email for two days?

6:42 p.m. Wonder if you'll go into labor tonight.

Repeat

Repeat

Repeat

Remember the socks Billy rejected? They're mine now, finished in my size. Just one complication: I can't try them on for you because it's just a bit too hard to put on my own socks these days. Thumper agreed to model them for you instead.

The yarn is Lorna's Laces Baltic Sea. No pattern to speak of. Plain ole ribbed socks. I'm sure I'll enjoy them quite a bit once I can see my feet again.